@Freudianscript: If life has taught me anything, it's that browser history repeats itself.
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@GrantTanaka: the year is 2046: leggings & cargo shorts have become sentient, the world is very different but we're all pretty comfy
@KalvinMacleod: WIFE: what’s going on? ME: [locking the door] I haven’t had an apple in 3 days DOCTOR: [outside, stethoscope in hand] I can hear u breathing
@leahlovescheez: My gynecologist recognized me at the grocery store, so I guess I need to start wearing longer skirts.
@FatherWithTwins: If my 5yos are holding something when I buckle them into their car seats, there's a 150% chance they'll hit me in the face with it.