@Freudianscript: If life has taught me anything, it's that browser history repeats itself.
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@ActuallyEmerson: Sometimes I answer your rhetorical questions because I think you are that stupid.
@Sarcasticsapien: On Halloween I'm going to let kids decide between raisins and a toothbrush so they know what we're going through with this election.
@Fred_Delicious: Good cop: u want a drink? Good cop 2: I love your shirt Good cop 3: ur so ripped dude Good cop 4: the bad cops are striking today, handsome
@KKBowls: Instead of politely knocking on the bathroom door, my kid attacks the door like a rookie DEA agent on his first raid