@Sarcasticsapien: If life were a romantic comedy I would be the guy on a date with the girl when the male lead makes his grand gesture that wins her back.
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@hipchkk: Packing my daughter's prom kit...lip gloss, stun gun, pepper spray, switchblade, and I've uploaded all 5 seasons of Teen Mom to her iPhone.
@Dawn_M_: Remember, your neighbours aren't going to be attacked by killer bees on their own. You have to want it. You need to make it happen.
@jwoodham: INTERVIEWER: If Harry Potter was real, what Hogwarts house would you be in? ME: What do you mean "if" Harry Potter was real?