@Sarcasticsapien: If life were a romantic comedy I would be the guy on a date with the girl when the male lead makes his grand gesture that wins her back.
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@phaggots: [texting my girlfriend] wyd? "Just finished my homework" Cool, Send a pic (; ? *gf sends a nude* Ewww wtf!! i meant of your homework!
@iGreenMonk: Wouldn't it be cool if Zombies & Vampires become human if we bite them first? Somebody needs to test that one.
@jdforshort: Everyone wants a bigger house until you have to dust Now I'm dreaming of a one room shanty inside a bubble
@NicestHippo: What should we call it when a man is beautiful? "Footseveral?" No but I feel like you're on the right track