@tpurvis06: If men had periods our commercials would be awesome...
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@QwertyJones3: [Blue whale documentary] This monster can eat 40 million fish in a day. Whale looking directly into the camera: Yeah I'm kind of a foodie.
@Donnie_Fairburn: "Son, hey son" Yeah dad? "Know why we named you Adopted?" *Sighs* Because I'm adop- "BECAUSE YOU'RE ADOPTED" Good one dad "I'm not your dad"
@GreenishDuck: Before Google, people had to go out in the alley and yell "WHAT'S THE NAME OF THE MONKEY FROM ALADDIN?" until they got some answers.