@n0tblonde: If mental stability was measured by the type of tweets we laughed at, straight jackets would be the new black.
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@Donna_McCoy: Nothing stops me in my tracks faster than a five year old saying, "I got you a present!"
@david8hughes: [me as a cop] Me: Mrs Hill? Woman: yes Me: it's Ms Hill now Woman: huh Me: ur husbands dead Woman: h-how? Me [hand on her shoulder]: he died
@Disalmanac: Today in 1892, JRR Tolkien was born. He wrote about all the horrible things that will happen if you put a ring on it.