@WarrenHolstein: If Miley Cyrus really wanted to shock us at the VMAs, she'd show up in a burka covered in a snowsuit and slowly add more clothing each hour.
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@Cyd10e: 4 y/o: What's your job? Me: I stay at home, take care of you, clean, cook the food... 4: That sounds boring. Do you want me to fire you?
@joeljeffrey: When I kiss a girl, sometimes I dont know what to do with my hands, so I slow clap behind her head to make sure she knows I'm enjoying it.
@rockstarfish: Today, coworker deemed herself "unscareable". Now I have no choice but to hide in the backseat of her car with an axe & correct her grammar.