@WarrenHolstein: If Miley Cyrus really wanted to shock us at the VMAs, she'd show up in a burka covered in a snowsuit and slowly add more clothing each hour.
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@copymama: After days stranded at sea on the edge of starvation, my 4yo is rescued & given bread: “This has seeds on it,” she scoffs, pushing it away.
@internetluke: "Your under arrest!" No, YOU'RE under arrest *police looks around points to himself & mouths 'me'* Yeah you. *he tosses me cop car keys*
@michaelianblack: Fun fact: The hip word "chillax" is a combination of the slang term "chill" and the more traditional word "laxative."