@withanewname: If Miley doesn't get her shit together, all these Hannah Montana collectibles are never gonna get my kids through college
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@torrami: Babysitting Pro Tip: Make them play Dungeons & Dragons until they love it so their parents will never have to worry about teenage pregnancy.
@Not_Uncle_Hoot: I made the kids put sunglasses on the snowman so he wouldn't have to make eye contact with the neighbors.
@Book_Krazy: Boss: You took another 2 hr lunch. Were you drinking? Me: No B: Tell me our company policy M: Lol, I can't even do that when I'm sober