@IGotsSmarts: If Minnie Driver married Bradley Cooper her name would be oh god I can't even finish this one
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@OfficeofSteve: Me: The dogs ears are so soft! Wife: I know! Me: I want to make a pillow out of them Wife: ..... Me: Not now obviously, like, when he dies
@ceejoyner: OFFICER DOWN I REPEAT WE HAVE AN OFFICER DOWN. I'm fine just down for whatever. Dancing or something fun.
@AmberTozer: Good thing "you only live once" has really caught on otherwise we might all kill ourselves like it's no big deal
@rzarosco: Knock on your neighbors door and ask if they've seen your cat. When they say no pull your cat out of your pocket and make the introductions