@TedOfficialPage: If Mitt Romney was president, we'd blame everything on him. "Damn why is it so cold outside? It wasn't this cold when Obama was president."
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@FeelingEuphoric: her: i like a guy that can last long ;) me, a piece of flavored gum: shit
@meakoopa: JURASSIC PARK is a movie abt how just bc something is great doesn't mean u should bring it back and it has three sequels
@UGotMeRight: The wife convinced me into taking her to Hawaii if she lost 20 pounds. You'd be surprised how many M&M's someone can swallow in their sleep.
@AristotlesNZ: Boss: "Thanks for making me my coffee. You know what'd go well with this?" Me: "The antidote?" Boss: "No, a nice..Wait, what?" Me: "Nothing"
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