@flyafuckingkite: If money can't buy happiness, explain ice cream. You can't.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@XplodingUnicorn: 5-year-old: I missed chicken nugget day at daycare. Me: So? 5-year-old: My life is falling apart.
@Schmoodles: I'm doing 'Angry Yoga' tonight. It's just lying on a mat and drinking a bottle of wine as I shout at my thighs.
@DothTheDoth: Mulder: it's some sort of over-fed grim reaper judgment figure. Scully: we're at the mall, Mulder. That's just Santa.