@flyafuckingkite: If money can't buy happiness, explain ice cream. You can't.
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@david8hughes: Her: I like smart guys Me [eats soup with a fork & pretends I understood Interstellar]: thats what happens if u get stuck behind a bookcase
@SumReecesPieces: "I need to talk to you." Has the power to make you remember every single bad thing you've ever done. Ever.
@CopBroughtPizza: i'm reading this thesaurus. it's really interesting, or should i say... very interesting.