@MUMSIEesq: If my 3YO's fortune was "you will eat the paper inside the cookie and then cry about it for 2 hrs," this Chinese restaurant is VERY accurate
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@jackie_ibbyxo: If you yell Bloody Mary into a mirror 3 times at 3AM, as loud as you can, your mom will appear and tell you to shut up and go to bed.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: My white cat has been beating up my black cat a lot lately so I guess he's been reading the news and knows he won't get punished for it.
@1_swarthy_dude: "Did anyone else's house get burglarized and have horrible music put on all their devices..........oh U2?"