@Jenny4ashley: If my boyfriend ever cheated on me I'd be like omg I have a boyfriend :)
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@LostCatDog: The 9-year-old in me thinks life is all about fun. But then I think, how long is it gonna take to digest this kid? I'm a huge python, btw.
@slyoung5: Have you ever noticed that Santa brings better gifts to the kids that have rich parents?
@QuinOShea: When my wife said let's do something fun for our anniversary I had no idea she meant together. I'm a man not a mind reader. I forgive you.
@ahumanfireball: A perk of being in your thirties is waking up injured because you slept in a slightly different way than usual.