@roggyie: If my "check engine" light would check my wallet, it would know there's nothing I can do about it.
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@MsSkarsgaard: I miss the things we shared together. Not the chlamydia but the rest of the stuff was cool.
@TheToddWilliams: [grocery produce aisle] ME: Hi, are these genetically modified carrots? CLERK: No, why do you ask? CARROT: Yeah, why do you ask?
@MasterOfFury: i like dropping off a tweet to FB & watch as everyone cautiously forms a circle around it, looking confused while prodding it with a stick.
@InkedUpKidder: My fan has two settings: - Barely moving. - Could propel a hovercraft across the Everglades.