@poizngrl: If my children are any indication of how much I talk, I would now like to apologize to any man I've ever dated...EVER
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@scott_towel: Convicted of murdering the English language, he was sentenced to death by elocution.
@Fred_Delicious: [Girlfriend looks at me in disgust] "Did u just propose using emojis?" ... "Technically its called a propoji, but yes" [She's already gone]
@Douchekevin: Told my girlfriend she should scream out 'my god you're huge'!! at her gynaecologist appointment to freak out the others in the waiting room