Why was Darth Vader referred to as Lord Vader?
Because calling him Master Vader made all the Stormtroopers giggle.
You Might Also Like
I’m normally not a jealous person, but I wouldn’t mind switching places with the astronauts that were just launched out of Earth’s atmosphere.
turning my gender off to conserve energy
GF says my bike helmet looks ridiculous, but I’d rather be “uncool” than fall and crack my head open in the middle of having sex.
If I were lost and all I had was a compass I would still be lost.
[ first day as a bartender ]
*takes a sip of the drink while it’s still on the counter because I over filled it*
ok here’s the deal. Yes it was dumb of NASA to ask Sally Ride if she needed 100 tampons for a 7-day mission, but I would have said “Actually I need 250” because that’s free tampons from the government, babbbbyyy.
I have been single so long, I can finish my own sentences.
they advertised mcmuffins for only a buck
Yes, for the fifth time, I can hear you on this Zoom call! even though I don’t wanna!
My 4yo told me to hold her baby as she walked away with her dad. My 4yo left me in a restaurant alone with a fake baby in my arms. I should’ve put the the baby down, but I didn’t. I just held it like a real baby. Why? Idk why. Parenthood is wild.
He asked if I was flexible so I sent him a pic of my stretch marks
first day in the secret service. all the guys hazed me into kissing the president
If a guy runs his fingers through your hair, there is a 33.3% chance you are being used as a napkin.
Ariana Grande is what happens if you feed a Bratz doll after midnight.
Me: Let’s go to the store.
5 yo: Why?
M: For food.
5: Why?
M: So we can eat.
5: Why?
M: To stay alive.
5: Why?
M: I have no idea.
A chicken running a marathon wears Ree-bokbokboks
“What have you always wanted to try in bed?”
Getting a good nights sleep
Punctuality is important. It’s the difference between helping your uncle jack off a horse and arriving late to find he’s already done it.
He said he likes curvy women and what my man wants, my man gets
*eats 14th Oreo cookie*
hi friends- for the new year I’m taking a break from life so I can focus on social media. if you need me you can find me here, constantly
British parking sign:
———————————
Parking Mon-Fri
Saturday (except Sunday)
No return within 1 hour
2 hour max (bank holiday)
Not valid Fri-Mon
(Excludes Weekdays)
1 hour only
———————————
12: dad my friend wants to know if I can spend the ni-
me: YES what time can I drop you off? Now? Is now good?
Boating season is upon us.
Me: Maybe I’ll go out tonight
Depression: No, you will cry yourself to sleep instead
Anxiety: It’s my turn and I want you to have a full blown panic attack
Stress Eating: Guys, let’s play together
Me: After all these years, I feel like all you offer me is false support
Limb technician:…well it’s kinda my job Greg, otherwise you’d be hopping home.
Who called it a washer repairman and a not a spin doctor?
My yogurt just moved. Paranormal activia.
Don’t mind me while I aim the remote at your face and make fast-forward button gestures.
fast food drive thru cashier: were you the one with…… …. … lots of stuff?
me: yeah that’s me