@QwertyJones3: If my company really wanted us to move during a fire drill, they'd lose the alarm and just announce that there's free food by the stairs.
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@PerfectPending: Please do not compare your dog problems to parenting. Your dog cannot say your name 3,258 times in a day.
@KeetPotato: me: "i re-wrote pulp fiction" director: "wow ok" [reads script] "this is literally just pulp fiction" me: "i didnt say it was different"
@TySmithdrums: I bought a spray bottle to break my girlfriend of looking at her phone when I'm speaking. I hide it after use so she doesn't know who did it