@LivibelsDada: If my dad were alive today he would say, "Mark stop telling people I'm dead"
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@NoogsCorner: That awkward moment when Batman opens the condom compartment instead of the Batarang compartment in his utility belt.
@KyleMcDowell86: A cop pulled me over because he thought I was talking on a cell phone but really I was just rubbing a slice of pizza on the side of my face
@ilovepie84: "LET MY PEEPHOLE GO!" -Moses when the cops found the peephole he installed in the Womens washroom.
@liv_thatsme: CAREER DAY me: I’m telling you kid, there’s a job for everyone. What are you good at? kid: My parents say I smell weird and I make them uncomfortable in their own house. me: Have you considered cable installation?