@LivibelsDada: If my dad were alive today he would say, "Mark stop telling people I'm dead"
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@TheTobbie: Just recorded the baby crying so I can play it back to him while he tries to sleep later to see how he likes it...
@ValeeGrrl: 5yo just abandoned his post as goalie so he could confirm we would be getting Chipotle for dinner. Because he is my child.
@Bagyants: When a computer program says "Not Responding" I start texting it stuff like "Who are you with?" and "Just heard our song"