@CleverGirl85: If my husband asks, we took a lit course together in college
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@lovemyboots111: How do you know your man is cheating? When he drives by her place the wifi connects
@Fred_Delicious: Simba - "welcome to... The bone zone" Nala - "the what?" Simba - "elephant graveyard. I said elephant graveyard"
@ieatanddrink: For animals with an "amazing sense of smell" dogs sure do sniff piles of turds for a long time before realizing "Whoops, these are turds"
@cajones113: Customer: I can't see. How many sugar and fiber are in this bar? Me: 7 sugar 5 fiber C: That's not very healthy... Just the smokes then.