@CleverGirl85: If my husband asks, we took a lit course together in college
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@WienerToboggan: "honey, I can't wait to do missionary later!" *Gets excited* *Wife leaves for third world country-helps many*
@BeingDBEAST: The kid next door just challenged me to a water fight, so I thought I'd tweet this while I wait for the water to boil...
@SteveSuckington: If you tell me I can only have sex with your sister over your dead body, your funeral is going to be awkward for some of your family.