@Carbosly: If my husband doesn't like my cooking, he can buy his meth somewhere else.
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@JustinGuarini: The best part about Facebook is never having to wonder what your acquaintance's baby is doing all day everyday day.
@Book_Krazy: Judge: So, you don't know how the victims blood got in your car? Clown: In my defense Your Honor, there were 46 other passengers in the car
@ericsshadow: If you had to decide between being fat and rich or poor and skinny, what bridge would you sleep under?
@OhHiAlyPie: *bursts into bank EVERYONE DOWN ON THE GROUND *everyone lies down EVERYONE CLOSE THEIR EYES *everyone closes their eyes EVERYONE NAP