@Carbosly: If my husband doesn't like my cooking, he can buy his meth somewhere else.
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@Coolisiana: (Date) "What's wrong?" Oh nothing I'm just a nervous hummer "Aw how cute!!" *perfectly hums the entire Jurassic Park theme at full volume*
@Angibangie: *Person in front of me using 73 coupons* Customers behind me: huffing and puffing Me: [eyes glued to screen] That one was for $2! Yahhhhss
@stephenjmolloy: Doctor: You need a new liver and we found a match. Me: When can you operate? *lighting a candle* Doctor: When we find you a new liver.
@slimmy_shady: I have an idea for a website where people seeking to share their views and ideas can get together and ignore each other.