@Carbosly: If my husband doesn't like my cooking, he can buy his meth somewhere else.
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@AndrewChamings: [shark tank] me: ridiculously wide sunglasses shark 1: i'm out shark 2: i'm out hammerhead shark: i'm listening
@ArfMeasures: WIFE: Carol's hubby gives her flowers EVERY day. I'd LOVE u to do that ME: Ok [next day] ME [giving Carol flowers] No I don't get it either