@simoncholland: If my kids knew there was a light in the oven, they'd leave that one on too.
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@AudreyPorne: if you're too polite to ask your date to leave just whisper "Mother might be getting cold in the pantry" while staring nervously at your kitchen.
@cambuslad: You totally had me at "I want you" and I was so excited, I completely missed the " To leave me alone" part....Sorry my bad.
@birbigs: Instead of presents, give your kids "presence." Then explain how homonyms can be hilarious. Then leave forever.
@superdadatron: *Opens fridge *Sees chocolate bar with a note "please don't eat me". *Eats chocolate bar Now who would want to eat a piece of paper?