@OzCricketFan81: If my memory foam mattress really had "memory," it could write for Penthouse.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@SteveDutzy: Zelda: Why aren't you mowing the lawn? Link: It's raining Z: No it's not L: *Plays Song of Storms* Z: You're sleeping with Epona tonight
@Parkerlawyer: Told my kids I loved them at carpool and no one responded so I yelled, "I love you too!" while hanging out of the sunroof. Me, 1 Kids, 0
@Samiam556: Apparently the safe word has changed to... NOT THERE IDIOT!!! Followed by a swift elbow to the eye....
@markedly: BANK: Someone made fraudulent charges w/ ur debit card ME: How'd you know it wasn't me B: They entered the PIN correctly 1st try M: Dear god