@garrydavenport: If my mobile provider started charging 3 times as much as their nearest competitor but there was no voicemail, I'd still stay with them.
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@FuckabillyRex: I gave my bus driver a copy of the play I wrote about a bus driver that falls in love with one of his passengers. And now we wait.
@thegreatnanak: She: why are you dressed up as a duck? Me: did you know people feed ducks in the park?
@Illiter8: Oh, you thought my hair twirling was flirting? Actually, it was just me checking for split ends because you were boring the shit out of me.