@garrydavenport: If my mobile provider started charging 3 times as much as their nearest competitor but there was no voicemail, I'd still stay with them.
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@VodkaThursday: I got an email from Olga. She thinks I'm sweet & "longs for finding a special person for serious relations". So there's always that.
@JDBooie: "I love you and I will always keep you safe." DAUGHTER: What about bees? "I love you and I will sometimes keep you safe."
@jdforshort: Sneaks into your house and removes all the labels from your canned goods. Shuffles them well.
@Pirate_nurse: Don't forget to put everybody before her so she has no clue whether you really give a shit or not