@realHamOnWry: If my mom had her own music genre it would be heavy meddle.
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@jonnysun: LIFE HACK: eat a cookie evry time u hav a good idea. this asociates idea w/ cookie. now evry time u eat a cookie u will think of a good idea
@UncleDuke1969: Wife: It's time for a vacation. Me: Where do YOU want to go? Wife: Hmm... Maybe the Bahamas? Me: Great idea! And, I'LL go camping upstate!
@mortimermaiden: *stares lovingly at photo of wife and child* *bravely runs into a burning house* "It's empty!" some yell "That was a stock photo" others say
@jimmy_sharpe: [lights focus on guy in interrogation room] "Say it. SAY IT." *points at sign saying "Worcestershire Sauce"*