@JamesonN7: If my mother only knew the things I say on Twitter.......... I'd be sitting in the corner with a bar of soap in my mouth and grounded.
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@grievre: 20 yr old me: dude holy shit you have to try ecstasy 30 yr old me: dude holy shit you have to try using properly sharpened kitchen knives
@VaguelyFunnyDan: Had no idea why my salad was $175, 'til the waiter explained that they only use Beets by Dre.
@rolldiggity: "Hey, man, just called to see when you're going to commercial. Now? Ok, us too." -Radio Stations
@ShoutingGoddess: You hurt the feelings of a person who was once the crush of a person who was once a friend of mine so you're a BAD person. ~ internet logic