@LindaInDisguise: If my partner didn't want me to wear yoga pants because they make me too attractive to other men, I'd respect his wishes and take them off.
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@ElgatoEsmio: [holding an acorn] “do you still love me?” Wife yells outside- "that’s not even the same squirrel as yesterday!” "Shaddup you!"
@Dawn_M_: I won't undo a retweet in case someone finds it offensive. I just knit them onto pillows and give them as Christmas gifts.