@SaraThomas84: If my phone is so "smart" how come it keeps letting me drunk dial my ex
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@KevinFarzad: To everyone with a motorcycle: your motorcycle is very loud & we are all very proud of you.
@causticbob: Wife: Hi, did you eat? Me: Did you eat? Wife: Are you copying me? Me: Are you copying me? Wife: I love you! Me: Yes, I already ate
@MAngelo505: My doctor says I should lose 10 lbs and work out more. But why? Spanx launched a men's line.
@mlinhart: LIFE HACK: If ur phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night, rice will attract Asians who will fix ur electronics for you