@hazelmotes1: If my son's science project is to see how annoying he can be before I kill him then he's almost done.
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@Reverend_Scott: If someone is better at something than you, learn from them, let them teach you, or bathe in their blood so you can absorb their power.
@dxblarssonENG: Teenage daughter called me an old fart. We both laughed and then I changed the password to our wifi.
@cbme69: [Leaving ballgame] Officer: have you been drinking? Me: Yes, but I assure you officer I can't afford to get drunk there.