@hazelmotes1: If my son's science project is to see how annoying he can be before I kill him then he's almost done.
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@HannahSymmonds: Him: It's so damn sexy when women bite their lip Me: Like this? Him: The bottom lip.
@Iwriteforcats: [Travels back in time] Me: Abe, what do you think America looks like in the future? Lincoln: United as one nation... Me: Wrong! FATTER.