@WilliamAder: If my wife ever hired a private detective to follow me, it would be to get pictures of me not using the coupons I said I used.
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@Insomniac_Medic: I'm going to say sky diving is probably not for me since I just screamed when the toilet seat shifted.
@ConanOBrien: I heard the iPhone 15 won't have any ports or jacks or a screen and it will just be a smooth steel ball and finally we'll all be happy.
@AngelaEhh: It'd be nice if the married people would leave some of the single people for the rest of the single people.
@BrandonVine: *pulled over by cop* Cop: Did you know that your tags are expired? *tags cop* Me: You're it! Cop: Me running away: Renewed!