@SeanLowe09: If my wife ever leaves me, I'm going with her.
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@LeahBonnema: I can't take anymore of this 50 Shades of Grey promo. It's still your basic Cinderella story. Now she just has a ball gag.
@UncleDuke1969: *wakes up at the crack of Dawn* *instantly regrets drunk dialing Dawn last night*
@_CremDelaEm: He called me passive aggressive. I just smiled and left. Cut his brake lines on the way out for good measure, though.
@ArfMeasures: ME [licks finger to turn page of the book I'm reading] WIFE: You're ruining that Kindle