@TheNardvark: If Natalie Portman dated Jacques Cousteau they would win celebrity couple nicknaming forever with "Portmanteau."
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@KalvinMacleod: [pearly gates] ANGEL: bad jokes are not allowed in heaven ME: ok ANGEL: that means absolutely no puns ME: abSOULutely *clouds turn to fire*
@timdonakowski: Thousands of married racists are waking up this morning and questioning the skin color of their spouse.
@DothTheDoth: I know Taco Bell doesn't have "I hate myself" sauce yet. But they should. They should.