@Donnie_Fairburn: If nothing else, the iOS7 update has proved it's usefulness by automatically adding the little accent mark to the word jalapeño for me.
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@Jandalize: Falling asleep at work didn’t get me in trouble. Falling asleep at work and snoring got me in trouble.
@iwearaonesie: wife: Why is there a broom in the driveway? me: So your mom doesn't have to borrow the car
@PaperWash: Super Mario is so unrealistic. No brother would ever help find his missing sister in law.
@Jeffwni: [Ancient Egypt job centre] - Name? "Ankhesenamun" - How do you spell that? "Reed comb water Ankh, bendy straw water shitting priest"