@JoshuaHvr: 6 more days, guys.. That's December 26. The day everybody puts their shitty Xmas gifts on Ebay so poor people, like me, can buy them!

@Owl_Meat: *puts bread in toaster* hmm something strange about the toaster today Duck(from in toaster): no there isnt

@noneofyours99: * thinks of a tweet before falling asleep * decided to remember a "key word* so I can remember it * wakes up * forgot key word

@TylerLinkin: My uncle was a world-famous chainsaw juggler. For one show.

@bourgeoisalien: Only death will keep me from you. Or cake. Or Netflix. Or kittens....hold on, I have a list.