@o__0Dev: If one door closes & another door opens, you’re probably in prison.
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@tarashoe: women and their purses! haha what's in there. tampons? lol. WATER? sweater? got sweaters? do you have an extra men's medium sweater in there
@LADaddy: [At the stress test, staring at a treadmill] Dr.: Just run at a speed where you can still talk normally. *sits down on a chair* Me: Okay.
@Brianhopecomedy: My buddy has a telescope but I don't think he uses it for astronomy. I asked what his favourite constellation was and he said, "Samantha".