@o__0Dev: If one door closes & another door opens, you’re probably in prison.
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@Playing_Dad: Me: Not to be racist but you look like you're sick Her: How was that racist? Me: I said "not to be racist" you must be sicker than I thought
@punmagnate: MAYOR'S TIP: before you spend 20 minutes blowing an air mattress, make sure it's really an air mattress, and not Gary hiding under a blanket
@philco816: Mob Boss: I need you to smoke this guy. Me: Ok, that takes 8-12 hours for a turkey though. Mb: I don't care just get it done.