@AnitaHelmet: If one more teenager uses the term 'Back in the day'...I swear I'm gonna smack them with a floppy disk and choke them with my legwarmers.
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@causticbob: Wife: Do you love me just because my father left me a fortune? Husband: Not at all honey, I would love you no matter who left you the money.
@ceejoyner: Never throw sunglasses in an argument. If they land perfectly on your opponent's face there is no known comeback.
@theshantilly: "I'm supes scared & all alone & in my underwear. What's that noise in the basement? I should totes go check it out." - Virgins tonight