@ParaComedian09: If only ISIS had kidnapped Liam Neeson's daughter, none of this would be an issue.
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@DaddyJew: Interviewer: what's your biggest weakness? Dwayne Johnson: *sweating nervously* certainly not paper that's for sure
@Halbeerz: So Nickelback is playing a flood relief concert for Alberta. Like those folks haven't suffered enough.
@mariokeyparty: My dad and I were never that close. The company he worked for once had a "father-son" picnic and he invited his father