@GabbbarSingh: If only Lord Ram used Apple maps to reach Ayodhya, Beijing would have been celebrating Diwali today.
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@TheAlexNevil: *watching an old Lassie show Me: How come you can't do those things? Dog (mutters): If we had a well I'd push you into it.
@better_off_dad: Playboy: We're going to take the naked ladies out of our magazine! Men: You know we were kidding about reading the articles, right?
@leechee420: Shirts that say SWAG and YOLO for sale at Walmart. Because dressing like an idiot should be affordable.
@PaperWash: [stranded on Mars journal] day 1: rob and I have enough oatmeal to last us 300 days day 2: I ate rob