@Love_bug1016: If only the workout your thumbs get from scrolling on your phone would go to your abs.
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@Ideal_Victoria: Oh… Oh dear… it looks like my grandmother’s embroidered pillow may have stolen your tweet.
@TheZachCozad: Can't get a girl? Rip out your rib and make your own! Critics are raving "this doesn't work" and "I'm bleeding to death".
@garrettbarry70: I have a CW who can't input data into a spreadsheet without whispering each number so don't tell me about your day.
@shanethevein: Funny how bullies only bully people who are susceptible to bullying. They don't bully people who'd throat punch em without thinking twice.