@Love_bug1016: If only the workout your thumbs get from scrolling on your phone would go to your abs.
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@GavinProbably: I always ask Subway workers if THEY want double meat, then wink. Then I get kicked out.
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: WHO DREW ON THE WALL?! 4-year-old: 2-year-old: 4-year-old: 2-year-old: 4-year-old: The dog.
@apollilaire: hello id like a reservation for two. also what is yr policy on cats. i wanna bring like seven cats. ive practiced fitting them on one chair
@matt___nelson: *walks up to dealer* I would like 3 weeds please "Are you a cop?" No I love crime and tomfoolery "..." Could I also get a bushel of cocaine?