@PeasLarge: if only there was a better name
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@mean_spice: Torturer: I will break you Me: Do you wear that hood to hide your sadness? Torturer: *broken* ah hell man I just wanted to be a chef
@DaddyJew: Cop: do you know why I pulled you over? Me: *super high* nice try, license and registration
@ranndrew: "How'd the date go?" Not good. Too many red flags. *Flashback to her house being covered with USSR flags* I think she might be a communist.
@Mr_Kapowski: Coworker: Summer plans? Me: Hell yeah. Rock shows galore CW: Def Leppard, Guns N Roses? Me: *thinks to amethysts and pyrite on brochure* Yea