@Xalqee: If opposites truly attract, the correct life strategy is to be a loser
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@junejuly12: People who say 45 minutes past the hour are the same ones who have kids 89 and 63 months old
@LostCatDog: He's dead, Jim. Bought the farm. Bit the pita. Shanked the llama. He's a shit piñata. He's gone elf. Dropped the fudgsicle. No more potatoes
@UberFacts: A Chicago High School played Justin Bieber's "Baby" between classes and students had to pay to stop it - They earned $1,000 in 3 days.
@ch000ch: if i ever go missing please don't use that photo of me holding a sign that says "if i ever go missing don't look for me." thanks