@Xalqee: If opposites truly attract, the correct life strategy is to be a loser
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@Ygrene: [Being murdered at Walmart] Please will you dump my dead body at Target people can't know I shopped here
@neptunemoons: "Mom! Mom! Hold this cockroach while I grab the lizard!" --Things I honestly never imagined I'd hear as a parent
@Eoisit: If no amount of evidence will ever change your mind on an issue, then as Einstein said: "You've been given a large brain by mistake."
@UncleDuke1969: "Dad, is that a bear outside the tent?" "No." "OK." "Hold still." "What're you putting on me?" "Sunscreen." "It smells like ketchup." "Shhh"