@twayne1010: If Oprah took over Favstar, everyone would get a trophy.
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@QwertyJones3: MANAGER: Great news guys, I finally got us a gig BAND: Thank God! Finally! MANAGER: *installing RAM* Yeah it'll make this PC way faster
@SteveSuckington: National product once got caught picking his nose and eating it thus forever being known as gross national product.
@birbigs: Instead of presents, give your kids "presence." Then explain how homonyms can be hilarious. Then leave forever.
@living_marble: One thing books from 100 years ago teach us is that if you leave a baby in the jungle, it'll be fine. Better than fine, actually.