@SuSuSuDonym: If Paula Deen's new cookbook isn't titled 'Fifty Shades of Gravy', I'm going to lose a considerable amount of money on the bet I just made.
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@DVSblast: A tragic kissout between police and suspects leaves over 15 innocent bystanders believing in love again
@MondayPajamas: *cleaning out wallet* Wife: Why don't you just buy a new one? Me: What? This thing's practically brand new *finds Nirvana ticket stubbs*
@CraigChamberlin: Me: "You didn't tell me that." Them: "Yes I did, four times while you were staring at your phone." Me (looks up): "I'm sorry, what?"