@Hormonella: If pedicures were called toe jobs, men would get them, too.
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@dorsalstream: [being held hostage] ME: [dejected] I thought there’d be more actual holding involved.
@BMcCarthy32: WELL IF BEING DISCHARGED FROM THE HOSPITAL ISNT THE BEST TIME TO ASK ABOUT A THREESOME THEN IM FRESH OUT OF IDEAS
@mishakey: It's fun to watch a waitress flirt with my husband for an entire meal, then see that look of betrayal as I take the check from her hand.