@Hormonella: If pedicures were called toe jobs, men would get them, too.
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@JennyPentland: "Mommy, I don't wanna grow up and die!" "Oh. Well, you can die at any age, really."
@GrowlyGrego: Your Bio says you like music. That's amazing. Seems like everybody else around here hates music. Kindred spirits, you and I.
@Nikkeya08: Unfortunately Katy Perry, I couldn't fit in the skin tight jeans so instead of a teenage dream my husband gets Blair Witch.
@bromanconsul: GIRL NEARBY: I'm breaking up with you, Kevin. You don't talk about Pokemon enough. [I sit up straight and frantically try smoothing my hair]