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@Hormonella: If pedicures were called toe jobs, men would get them, too.
@Robert_Beau: On Facebook:
Them: Look! We're at the beach!
Me: Look! I'm in your house!
@BurbidgeJames: "If you started at 16 and work until you're 23.
That would give you 10 years of experience."
Back to school for you My friend!
@l1zerd: I think there should be a small amount of weed in every first aid kit.
@longwall26: "My dream is to create something that both dogs and fraternity brothers will enjoy chasing with equal vigor." -- inventor of the frisbee
@junejuly12: Hope there is a particularly fiery spot in hell for anyone capable of losing a dog in an enclosed dog park.