@bencoffeehall: If peeing was an Olympic event, I would win gold. But then I would miss the awards ceremony because I was taking a leak.
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@kwirkyKerri: You don't need to threaten me into submission. Just hold some cheesecake under my nose.
@WetzelGeek: Wifey put some girly glitter soap in the bathroom. This morning I look like I either just came from the strip club, or showered with Ke$ha.