@gitson_shiggles: If people on Twitter found a horses' head in their bed at least 3/4 of them would get a selfie with it before calling the cops.....
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@slimpickins_: The problem with studying ancient Chinese art is I want some Mexican art a half an hour later.
@laabruzzi: *bumpes into my ex on the street *dials a number Hello, Satan? Dude I thought we had an agreement?!
@KizerBillhelm: Satan: Welcome to hell! You can spend all eternity walking barefoot across legos OR you can wear these crocs. Me: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
@thenoahkinsey: Watching Finding Dory & her parents call her "cupcake." How do they know what that is? This movie doesn't seem very realistic, you guys.