@nealbrennan: If people post just two more scripture quotes on Facebook, I will have officially read the entire bible.
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@agathagotstoned: The plane starts going down. I say, "If we die, know that hat is hideous". We all survive. Great Aunt Mildred hasn't spoken to me since.
@NoogsCorner: Witch Logic: I have the magical ability to turn any item into a flying vehicle. I guess I'll use that broom.
@KevinFarzad: ENTRY-LEVEL JOB OPENING: Minimum 3 years exp required. Must speak 4 languages, have 2 Olympic medals & a reference letter from Barack Obama.