@iwearaonesie: if people really didn't want to hear smartass responses they wouldn't keep asking questions like "do you know why i pulled you over?"
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@KissabiX: [sees a lion and a witch come out of a wardrobe] Me: what have you been up to in there? Lion: Narnia business
@BigHeb7: I just saw three dudes wearing denim shirts with denim jeans. Who's responsible for this shit? Canada? Was it you, Canada?
@RandomManik: Yes, I have read 'Game Of Thrones'. No, It is not any different from the show. -Me, after watching Game of Thrones with subtitles.
@IvoryGazelle: I push everything I have across the table and confidently call "all in". "Omg, for the last time, this is chess"