@FlyoverJoel: If people winked in real life as much as they do on the Internet, the world would be about 542.67% creepier.
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@iwearaonesie: wife: Why don't we run through the parking lot? me [laying on the ground in front of the car that hit me] Because it's dangerous
@TheMichaelRock: Boss: Can I have a word with you? Me: You just had 7 with me. Good talk. Boss: But.. Me: Shhhhhhh.....
@RexHuppke: The emailer who threatened LA schools claims to be "a Muslim extremist." That's like a student signing his report card "Timmy's Dad."
@Zambah_: Time zones are amazing! Here in New Zealand it's tomorrow, in America it's yesterday and in North Korea it's 1980.