@aveuaskew: If people would moan loudly during a pat down, the line would move much quicker.
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@QwertyJones3: "WHAT?? You ate the last of the cantaloupe?? This is the worst day ever!" Can you please stop being so melondramatic.
@Mr_Kapowski: [magician rolls over in bed] "Last night was amazing" Woman: Magical. Make me breakfast? Magician: [waves magic wand, eats her]
@TheMichaelRock: Me: Did you just put your fingers in my drink? 5yo: I don't have poison on my fingers! Me: But why did you....wait, what?
@citizenkawala: Donald Trump has all the resources to be Batman. Instead, he chooses to be Donald Trump.