@ashleycrem: If pharmaceutical companies have taught me anything, they've taught me that people with life threatening illnesses love to hike.
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@UncleDuke1969: *draws a line in the sand* *looks at the line in the sand* *decides that it might be time to vacuum*
@fro_vo: "Does your dad play any sports?" "No, my dad hates sports" *dad walks in* "Hey there, Sport"
@hunz74: 16 Y.O. employee: "There's a dirty diaper outside. What do I do with it?" Me: "Is there a live baby in it?" Him: "No." Me: "Throw it away."
@BamDebikins: Yes, mother, I have gained weight. No, it was not appropriate to point it out by pinching my muffin top in front of thirty people.