@TheMichaelRock: If playing Grand Theft Auto makes you violent, why hasn't 25 years of me playing Madden made me a professional football player?
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: All of Ariel's mer-sisters' names started with A too. More like keeping up with the Karsplashians.
@NotKarma: Just read a few inspirational tweets about courage and confidence and GUESS WHO IS GOING TO ROB A BANK TONIGHT?!!
@lwhit_the_boss: If Jay-Z is married to Beyonce and is a multimillionaire and still has 99 problems then there ain't no hope for the rest of us
@CarolinaSong: That awkward moment when you text a pretty girl, "my shirt smells like you" & you misspell shirt