@TheMichaelRock: If playing Grand Theft Auto makes you violent, why hasn't 25 years of me playing Madden made me a professional football player?
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@stonedcoldlazy: Got a message from the anti virus app on my phone telling me Twitter was safe. Clearly, the app isn't reading your tweets or looking at pics
@JohnLyonTweets: “Your mother and I are separating but it’s not your fault, we love the three of you very much.” “There are four of us.” “You heard me.”
@thejessbess: I'm no scientist, but I don't think it's possible for EVERYBODY to be kung fu fighting.
@MrsTomServo: Women want men they can fix; men want girls they can save; I want a sandwich that makes itself.