@TheMichaelRock: If playing Grand Theft Auto makes you violent, why hasn't 25 years of me playing Madden made me a professional football player?
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@TEXASVETERAN: I just read a bumper sticker that said, "Honk if you love Jesus. Text while driving if you love Satan." Sent from iPhone.
@AimeeHelene1: Me: Yes, I'd like the Mexican massage. Masseuse: The what? Me: *hands him taco seasoning and sour cream* Masseuse: Me: Let's go, chop chop.
@errdayhustlah: I bet Columbus was super pissed when he rolled up in the Santa María only to find Dora had already explored America.