@mikeleffingwell: IF POT GETS LEGALIZED WHAT'S TO STOP SOMEONE WHO WANTS TO SMOKE A HORSE
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@dave_cactus: "Your finest Scotch, please." "Yes, sir," the guy at Staples says as he hands me a 12 year old roll of tape.
@KimmyMonte: Sometimes, late at night, I'll look up at the stars and wonder if you're also stealing lawn furniture.
@brendohare: A nation cheers as Bigfoot is finally found. "We just yelled his name," said the head explorer. "Can't believe no one thought of that."